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Big Trouble in Little China

Ninjas with guns, yo

 

Have you not seen this movie? Have you been living under a rock?? CAN YOU EVEN ANSWER FROM UNDER YOUR NAIVETY BOULDER? Don't let nature keep you down, man.

This movie. It has ninjas. And gangs that know like jujitsu. Those are both Japanese. But this is Little China so that doesn't even make sense, get with it.

It also has:

  • a big-ass semi
  • a hottie Asian chick with green eyes
  • Raiden
  • a beholder
  • motherfucking Kurt Russell
  Truck driver Jack Burton (Russell) and diminutive Asian man Wang (heh), go to the airport to pick up Wang's super hot girlfriend but she's kidnapped by an 80s Asian street gang. Then she's kidnapped by the leader of the 80s Asian street gang, Lo Pan, because she has green eyes and that fulfills a prophecy so that he can be a real boy and not a ghost. This already sounds fucking awesome so I don't need to continue. But I will. Continue Reading
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