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TRON: Legacy

Fun fact: all my articles have mouseover image text

 

Adobe Updater won't fuck off here either

Technology is complicated, yo. Just look at microwaves. Microwaves heat up stuff, right? So do toasters. Can you make toast in a microwave? No and that's dumb. Fuck you microwave, I want radioactive toast and now I just have unenthusiastic bread. TRON: Legacy is the sequel to 1982's Tron and expounds on the idea of computer programs being visually represented in a sort of inner virtual reality system. And they range from sorta sexy to JEEPERS. No rotund bloatware here. Hell, Windows 8 probably gets all tarted up and goes to the disco. WTF that's not even how this works. Moving on. Continue Reading
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The Thing

YOU SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN

  Antarctica's pretty fucking cold right? WRONG Antarctica's not even a real place, 10 points from Hufflepuff.   Chin up, little buddy and let's do this. Continue Reading
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Big Trouble in Little China

Ninjas with guns, yo

 

Have you not seen this movie? Have you been living under a rock?? CAN YOU EVEN ANSWER FROM UNDER YOUR NAIVETY BOULDER? Don't let nature keep you down, man.

This movie. It has ninjas. And gangs that know like jujitsu. Those are both Japanese. But this is Little China so that doesn't even make sense, get with it.

It also has:

  • a big-ass semi
  • a hottie Asian chick with green eyes
  • Raiden
  • a beholder
  • motherfucking Kurt Russell
  Truck driver Jack Burton (Russell) and diminutive Asian man Wang (heh), go to the airport to pick up Wang's super hot girlfriend but she's kidnapped by an 80s Asian street gang. Then she's kidnapped by the leader of the 80s Asian street gang, Lo Pan, because she has green eyes and that fulfills a prophecy so that he can be a real boy and not a ghost. This already sounds fucking awesome so I don't need to continue. But I will. Continue Reading
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Ridley Scott announces he’s working on 12 new sci-fi projects!

You read that right - Ridley Scott has signed on with online video outlet Machinima to develop 12 new sci-fi shorts, with potential for some or all of the projects to evolve into feature length films. Machinima is best known for sci-fi shorts Battlestar Galactica: Blood and ChromeMortal Kombat: Legacy and Halo: Forward Unto Dawn. Those three projects were big, but inking a deal with Scott is huge. Neither side has announced exactly what the shorts could entail, but the idea seems to be an “incubator” for new ideas that Scott might not have had a chance to try out on the big screen. It’s also possible Scott could partner with young sci-fi filmmakers to help develop new talent around the genre. Scott seemed pretty excited about the deal, saying it would give him a chance to deliver on some new concepts in a new medium:
“[Ridley Scott and Associates] has always been at the forefront of creating innovative work.  With new media transforming the way audiences connect with films and filmmakers, Machinima is a great partner for us as we embark on this new model of delivering original content to fans.  It’s a tremendous opportunity for pushing the creative boundaries for both our filmmakers and the audience.”
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