Today we pay homage to the classic scifi
Today we pay homage to the classic scifi movie and TV cliche: Make Out Point, Lover’s Lane, or any secluded place where a pack of teens circle their station wagons and fog up the windows. It might be tired, but we love this silly old trope. So we’ve found the best spots for fantastical smoochfests — or meeting monsters. We’ve also helpfully included a danger level scale and get lucky rating for each location. Enjoy you crazy kids!
13. Attack of the Eye Creatures
The whole movie is centered on the teens and their lustful fumblings at the local make out point. A place the military pervs keep under constant surveillance when they’re bored with protecting our country. An alien spaceship crash lands near this make out lane and it’s the teens themselves that use their headlights to kill off the nefarious invader.
Chances of Getting Lucky: High, based on body count alone. This is make out heaven.
Danger Level: Low, the kids in this town are smarter than the cops. So if something goes wrong, at least you’ll be surrounded by smarties.
12. Giant Gila Monster
Views of hideous ponds work as an aphrodisiac for teens and Giant Gila Monsters.
Chances of Getting Lucky: Low, unless you’re into some hot 1959 cheek touching action.
Danger Level: High. The Giant Gila Monster strikes fast and hard.
11. SpongeBob SquarePants
Possibly one of the more “adult” jokes slipped into this kiddie cartoon, behold Make-Out Reef, a pivotal part of the adventures of Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy.
Chances of Getting Lucky: Medium, this show is strangely adult. Anything could happen.
Danger Level: Low.
10. Star Trek Voyager
In “Lifesigns” The Doctor goes on a baller date in a classic car — and this makeout point is on Mars! Sure it’s all on the holodeck, but who cares? You can breathe on fake Mars!
Chances of Getting Lucky: Medium. The Doctor has terrible game, but then again he calls in the best for advice. Then again, who doesn’t want to make it on the holodeck?
Danger Level: Low, unless you create a Western scenario. Never run the Western scenario.
9. Adventure Time
A place for Lump Space “smooth-posers” who just want some alone time. Who wouldn’t make out there? It’s gorgeous.
Chances of Getting Lucky: One very innocent kiss.
Danger Level: Low. Gross guys.
8. The Blob
In this remake of the classic Blob, the gooey monster gets revenge on date rapist. Alas the girl doesn’t make it out either…
Chances of Getting Lucky: High. It’s a horror movie made in the 80s, we are all having sex.
Danger Level: High. And we’re going to die during or right after.
Lovers’ Lane is the beginning of the end for Pleasantville. Once Big Sister Jennifer “pins” high school hunk Skip in the back of his car, the beautiful spot for teens to stare into nothingness gets a whole new purpose. The hot spot later becomes some sort of civil rights metaphor revolutionary meet up joint, and less a place to bump uglies.
Chances of Getting Lucky: High, but you’re going to have to make the first move. And… come to think of it, that’s kind of creepy. These teens are like baby deer.
Danger Level: The only danger you’re in is weeping from sheer technicolor beauty.
6. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy and Giles creep Sunnydale’s lover’s lane along with the rest of the cast (who are there for better purposes) in “Xander Phases.” Because werewolves are attracted to places that ooze sexual heat. Ha.
Chances of Getting Lucky: High. The Buffyverse is a hot one if you play your cards right and don’t sleep with cursed vampires.
Danger Level: High, the tradeoff for all the hot steamy sex is lots of sticky wet death.
5. Killer Clowns From Outer Space
Killer Clowns wins a spot just on sheer ice cream innuendo. Selling ice cream at the local hot spot seemed like a good idea at the time, especially with this pitch:
“I’m Jo-Jo the ice cream clown, we’ll give you a stick, you’ll give it a lick. And it’ll tickle you all the way down. Ice cream, ice cream, we brought our goodies here to you! A tasty treat for while you screw! Let’s take a break! Cool off those hot lips with our frozen fruity bars! Icy-wicy, fudgy-wudgy bars. And everyone’s frozen delight, the lick a stick!”
Chances of Getting Lucky: High. People are too busy having sex to eat ice cream? What kind of world is this????
Danger Level: High. There’s nothing worse than a clown, they have no souls. Mix that with a bloodthirsty alien clown, ain’t nobody going home tonight.
4. Clone High
Clone High did their own little spin on the OC complete with a funeral, jail sequence, sadness montage and Teen-Sex-Cove in “Litter Kills, Literally.”
Chances of Getting Lucky: High, unless you’re Abe Lincoln.
Danger Level: Nonexistent.
3. The Creeping Terror
Wild “hootenannies” leave you susceptible to the slowest alien carpet to ever crawl idly roll over your bodies.
Chances of Getting Lucky: Low. The Creeping Terror world equates guitar picnics to Coyote Ugly. The best you’re getting is a cool egg salad sandwich.
Danger Level: Low, just stand up and walk away. This thing moves at a snail’s pace. Are the alien carpet’s victims really victims, or just the universe’s way of thinning the herd?
Futurama replaces the monster with a human in “Fear of a Bot Planet.”
Chances of Getting Lucky: High. Robots are a horny bunch.
Danger Level: Low. Robots are easy to trick, or at the very least, pay off.
1. The Last Starfighter
Silver Lake! “What’s wrong, should I put my tongue in your ear now?”
Chances of Getting Lucky: High, because there isn’t much else left to do in this trailer park besides play video games. And what good is ever going to come of that?
Danger Level: Low, Disney level low.